The Lesbian Ex Race …

It’s over, let the lesbian mind games begin…

Ok ladies,

So we know the scenario oh so well, the beautiful relationship has ended!

Yes that’s right…

You are not going to be with them forever.

You are not going to move in with them.

You are not going to take them to your sister’s wedding.

You are not going to take them to your brother’s baby’s christening.

You are not going to pass go, you are not collecting £200!!!

But what you are going to do is start the lesbian ex race…

So what is the lesbian ex race exactly then?

Basically you are going to try and get a new gf before your old girlfriend does.

Now it can’t just be any old lesbian!

She has to be hot, hotter than your ex girlfriend (don’t blame me I didn’t make up da rules!)

Now I am going to tell you exactly what will happen, so move your highlighted hair from over one eye and read this…

SHE WILL GET A HOT GIRLFRIEND BEFORE YOU!

Yes, I am sorry, but it’s gonna happen.

The thing that you don’t know is that only you think she is hotter than YOU!

You see, your insecurities, whatever makes you think it, are wrong.

Your head is just a mess, but if you asked your friends, they would tell you that you are actually hotter than the new girlfriend.

Still following me?

No, well get that mad hair out the way of your eyes then!

I can honestly say, that over the past few months, three girls have said to me that they were gutted that their ex gf’s had new lesbian partners, who were hotter than them.

WRONG!

And do you know what is even funnier, the statistics…

You see 83% of rebound relationships don’t work out.

Yes, only 17% of rebound relationships work out.

This means that you really shouldn’t worry, in fact, you should laugh.

That’s right, laugh at your ex, because she is in for a bumpy ride!

LAUGH YOUR ASS OF RIGHT NOW!!!

So whilst you are gutted, you actually have the upper hand, she is going to have go through a whole loads of issues, but you are not.

That’s why you should not even enter the race, just let her win!

Life is too short, she dumped you, you dumped her, who cares, tbh (to be honest) it didn’t work out, some things are just not meant to be, sometimes opposites do not attract, sometimes people are too alike, it’s just one of those things.

All you can do is try and move on, learn from the mistakes, and try not to make them a second time.

I remember when Emma told me she had a new gf.

Now it wasn’t just a new gf, it was of course a HOT NEW GIRLFRIEND!

Hotter than me, hard to believe I know!

But hey, Emma thought her new gf was hotter than me so I guess that’s the main thing.

Anyway, so Emma is all loved up with “whatshername” and telling me the sex is wayyyyyyyyy better than with me, how rude!

She even went so far as to say listen to the lyrics of “your sex is on fire” by some group, can’t remember who.

That hurt me actually, it did, and I am not ashamed to admit it.

To make matters worse, the very next day, Linda adds “sex on fire” to her bebo profile tut!!!

Isn’t it funny how songs remind you of things that happened in your life or people.

For example:

Margo = Sex Bomb - Tom Jones…

Anytime I pull a girl Margo sings sex bomb to me, she is like my best bud and I love her to bits!

Brenna = Promise - Girls Aloud

This was the first time I heard this song and I loved it, but it had an element of sadness to it as well, if you are a black pudding avoid this girl at all costs, you have been warned!

Linda = Sex On Fire

Totally hated the song for the above reasons, was so so glad when it was replaced with another.

Nicky = Love At First Sight - Kylie Minogue

Watched Nicky and Steph dance to this one night in Polo, have a video of it, very funny, great night out actually.

Jo = Pokerface - Lady Gaga

Another fab night out, where Jo Jo proceeded to try and poke everyone, in the face!

Lynne = ANY BRITNEY

Just love Lynney and Britney, and anytime I hear Britney it makes me think of Lynne cos she loves Britney almost as much as I do.

Gillian = Spotlight - Jennifer Hudson

Gillian sang this in my car, on the way to Glasgow one night and every time I hear it, I think of her.

Can’t really think of anymore right now, but you get what I am saying right?

Songs remind you of people, of things that have happened in your life.

I totally went off-track with what I was talking about, but I was gutted about Emma’s new hot sex life with “whatshername”.

ANYWAY….

Just like the statistics proved, the rebound went pear-shaped and she came back begging…

HELL NO!

Not a chance in hell I was taking her back, she won the ex race, but I won in the end.

I got over her, not completely, but almost 100%.

Don’t worry if your ex gets a new hot gf, I honestly don’t believe they are happy anyway, they are just trying to numb the pain of losing you.

Even if they dumped you, I am telling you right now, there are things they miss about you, no relationship is ever the same, and you have left a lasting impression on them, be it good or bad.

But do you really care what they think about you?

Do you really want to live your life thinking about them?

Brenna said to me tonite…

“Do you really want to live your life worried in case you meet your ex?”

And no, I don’t.

So I refuse to live a life of fear, and I totally refuse to participate in the ex race.

Maybe this blog post has been a rant and a rave, maybe you totally disagree, but it’s simply my thoughts.

Feel free to leave any comments below…

Stay GAY!

Sally x

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