10 Reasons To Date Fat Lesbians

Ok here are my 10 reasons to date a fat lesbian, I do not mean any harm in this post, it’s just a bit of fun, I personally adore chubby girls!

1. Does my Bum look big in this?

She will never utter the words us lesbians dread…

“does my bum look big in this?”

Emma used to look at her bum from 80 million different angles in a mirror.

Sometimes it would take me a half an hour to convince her that her bum didn’t look big.

I would end up shouting “for fuck sake your bum looks perfectly all right!”

Seriously, you try holding a mirror in 80 million different positions for half an hour and see if you are pissed off at then end of it!

Now remember, your bum wont get any smaller no matter how many times you look at it, it wont get any smaller if you stand on your tip toes or if you hold in your breath!

If you want a smaller bum, try biking, hiking, running or walking!

And just so you know, Emma’s bum did look big!

In fact it was fat and massive, but I still loved it!

2. Fat Lesbians are GREEDY!

Yes, they will have fridges bursting at the seams.

You will have crisps, chocolate, cakes and sweets at your instant disposal.

You will never starve in a fat lesbians house that’s for sure!

Plus, you will never need to eat at weird restaurants selling rabbit food!

You will be a regular visitor to Mac D’s, Burger King, All You Can Eat Buffets, Chinese, Indians, Italians, you name it, your eating there!

Just be careful, because fat lesbians are VERY greedy!

You will have to protect your own food from them, I remember whenever I made Emma dinner, and it came time to “dish it out” she always went in a bad mood if I took the biggest baked potato, or if there looked like there was more on my plate!

You have been warned!!!

3. Fat Lesbians have really BIG MOUTHS!

Ok, I am not even saying why this is a fantastic reason to date fat lesbians, use your imagination!

4. Fat Lesbians are UGLY!

Ok maybe not all fat lesbians are ugly, but some are, so this means you will never need to feel insecure or jealous.

No one wants your fat ugly chick, so you can sleep easy at night.

Fat lesbians are ideal for insecure and jealous lesbians.

Plus standing beside your fat lesbian, you are going to look and feel like a million dollars too!

5. Fat Lesbians are HOT!

Not hot, as in stunning hot, I mean hot as in roasting!

You can ditch your duvets, your thermal underwear, your hot water bottle, your electric blanket!

When you date a fat lesbian, your bed will never be cold again.

You will be suffocated with big warm bear hugs and have the best night’s sleep of your life!

Hugging a fat lesbian is so much better than hugging a skinny lesbian, try it if you don’t believe me!

6. Fat Lesbians Makes You LOOK THINNER!

Yes that’s right, standing next to your fat lesbian girlfriend, you are going to resemble Twiggy.

Now there is an instant image booster for all you chubby lesbians out there.

Forget dieting, ditch your slimfast milkshakes, your fad diets and simply date a fat girl for your own instant weight loss!

7. Fat Lesbians can GET THIN!

Under all those layers of fat there might just be a beautiful thin lesbian trying to get out!

How many times have you seen a really hot lesbian with a really ugly one?

Many times yes?

And you think to yourself, why is the pretty lesbian with the ugly lesbian don’t you?

So how did the ugly lesbian pull a hottie… she didn’t!

The pretty lesbian used to be a fatty!

All the ugly lesbian did was date a fat lesbian and make her thin.

You can work your magic on your own fat lesbian, help her shed those extra 100 pounds!

So you create the ideal lesbian, and she stays with you for life because you stuck by her, thick and thin!

You could maybe even get fit together!

Then you will be helping fatty and getting yourself fit too.

Kill two fat birds with the one stone!

8. Fat Lesbians are MORE GRATEFUL

Fat lesbians are usually always emotionally weak, from the constant “you fat bastard” comments in the street and the years of bullying at school.

So the least bit of kindness you show them will go along way!

They will be so happy that someone loves them, they will be extremely grateful, showering you with money, gifts etc.

Your fat lesbian will be at your beck and call!

A little bit of love goes a long way with a fat lesbian.

9. Fat Lesbians DO IT BETTER!

Yes they are hot under the sheets, but this time I mean sexually!

Just because a lesbian is fat, does not mean she is lazy.

In fact, they will work you into a sweat in bed.

Fat lesbians love to have sex, especially with their big mouths (see point 3 above).

Because fat lesbians are so happy to be loved by you, they will do their best to ensure you get the ride of your life every single night!

10. Fat Lesbians Have A PRETTY FACE!

How many times have you heard someone say…

If she was skinny she would be gorgeous because she has a beautiful face?

Loads right?

Well which would you rather date…

A fat lesbian with a beautiful face?

OR

A skinny lesbian with a plain face?

I rest my case, now go find your very own FAT LESBIAN!

I hope you enjoyed my, tongue in cheek, 10 reasons why you should date fat lesbians.

Here are a few fat jokes that made me laugh:

What was Michelle McManus’ favourite musical instrument at school?

The Dinner Bell.

In a cruel twist of fate today a fat girl had her dinner money stolen at school…

The thieves bought a Wii, a mountain bike and a weekend in Disneyland Paris!

Inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get out…

But you can usually shut the bastard up with some biscuits!

How do you get a fat girl in bed?

Piece of Cake!

What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?

They are both fun to ride until someone sees you on one!

I LOVE FAT CHUBBY LESBIANS!

Now before anyone starts moaning about my 10 reasons above, can I just say that I love fat lesbians!

And that I will write a similar post about 10 reasons to Date a Skinny Lesbian too.

This is Sally, signing off…

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